Statistical Sleuths Prints

Valley of Big Data

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

Joan Hickson

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"Look, Professor - a stegosaurus!"

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

"I need to self isolate. . . but I thought I'd better come in and see you first!"

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

Roentgen tries to figure out what he's discovered.

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'What an execrable day. I got drenched in a Wiki leak and buried in a document dump.'

"Perkins! What have you gone and done now...??"

'Of students surveyed, 64% prefer English and 32% prefer math. The fact that these numbers do not add up to 100 may help explain why.'

"This is where things started getting really weird."

"Essentially Wilkins proves things and Brenner disproves them."

Medical Library - Large books with really revolting photographs

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

Newton's Law and Order.

Undercover Biophysicists

GM Crops Genie.

'We couldn't give away black-and-white TVs until we started advertising them as having 'non multi-color capability'.'

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

Galileo describes his discoveries to the church (and gets hit over the head by the bishop/pope with the telescope that he made the discoveries with).

"You call yourselves a demographic?"

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

'She didn't notice it was a wolf and not her grandma?? Had grandma never heard of electrolysis??'

Schrodingers cat at the vets

"The search for a new painkiller has been a real headache."

'It's Yorick all right - I know his DNA well.'

"Light at the end of the tunnel!"

"We're sure we've got the right numbers... Now we just need to work out what order to put them in!"

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

'Trying to steal secrets again, Dr. Figowitz?'

"I'm majoring in Communications with a minor in Leaking!"

Genetically-Modified Foods: Are they safe?