Stat Cat Prints

Customer Complaints - "Thank you, Thompson, for collecting the statistics."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

Copycats

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

Indoor Climbing Centre for Cats.

"Actually, make that a double cream."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Foster failure"

Cat woman shopping for cats.

'My bark may be worse than my bite, but I've got a whine that will drive you up a wall!'

"Cat box"

"Now that I have everyone's attention..."

'This might be the common ground we've been looking for.'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"It get it – you're hungry."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Biofelineism

A cat has caught a cow which it is dragging through it's cat flap.

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Cat Heaven vs Mouse Hell.

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

'Do you have any catsup?'

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

Cat Nip.

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

"Hold my calls, Kimberly. I'm with a ball of string."

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'