Starting Language Classes Prints

Learn yourself English.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

Campaign for Plain English

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

'Roget it's fantastic, superb, extraordinary...where on earth did you get the idea?'

"We've decided that it will be better for his later development if we speak to him only in legalese."

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

Wishing Well, Wishing Good.

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'Stick them up...'

'Your stab at ordering the wine in French went well.'

'Now that we've learned to talk, maybe we should establish some speech codes.'

"Letters would be all right if they'd just let us leave them in alphabetical order."

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

'Now, what's Italian for pizza?'

'This is the fun part...waiting to find out just what we've ordered.

We're going on a first date. So many words are misused every day. Literally! I don't accept the use of imperfect language. Me either. Trying to fight it has no effect. It's all a mute point. Irregardless, I could care less. I had nothing farther to say.

Ironing Punctuation

'I'm not doing well in Chemistry - I'm out of my element.'

Your salary as a research assistant is commensurate on your ability of spell, define, and delineate the work 'commensurate.'

Staff Yearbook

With the aid of a tactical dictionary, and was finally able to make sense of what the salesman was saying.

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

'Do you always have to shout? Well? Do you? Huh?'

'To them, capital punishment means making them use proper capitalization.'