Starting A Veterinary Practice Mugs

Separation

'Where's my glove?'

'The most precious thing a practitioner can accomplish, my boy, is to accumulate a devoted following of these damned hypochondriacs."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"Quick, start the car!"

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

"Are you sure you're not holding your breath?"

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

Dentist Training School.

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

'Virus?' - 'Yes, it's a Latin word we doctors use, meaning I haven't got a clue..'

'Must you be so judgemental?'

"Sick? You're not sick! The money I owe on my student loans... now that's sick!"

Infectious Disease Treatment Area

All-Purpose attorney has all his specialisation running away from him

"I've only just started practicing. I'm hoping the proceeds from these first few sessions will pay for a couch."

'Naw, man! I ain't never worked in no animal hospital...'

'Three words doc, why you should buy...dislocation,dislocation,dislocation.'

'So, if this procedure is 100% safe, why do I need to sign this waiver?!'

'We structured the deal so that you'll need a lawyer to explain it.'

'You're worried! What about me? I've never done this operation before!'

Sign on new dental practice reads 'open wide'.

Hickory, Dickory Doc...Pediatricians

'Doctor, you've removed leg bands before, haven't you?'

'Well, I'm AGAINST adding a course in business methods to the curriculum....

'What the hell kind of veterinarian are you going to make...'

Welcome to the Society of Veterinarians Who Have Spayed Tomcats!'

'As an amnesiac, we'll slowly build memory. Now, pay me and then try to remember paying me.'

'What are we going to do about these grooming parlors...'

'They didn't cover THIS in our restraint course at Cornell!'