Starting A Veterinary Practice Mugs

Separation

'Where's my glove?'

'The most precious thing a practitioner can accomplish, my boy, is to accumulate a devoted following of these damned hypochondriacs."

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

"Quick, start the car!"

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

Patent Attorney (invisible man)

"Are you sure you're not holding your breath?"

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

'Yessir, I just finished my first spay...but how did you know?'

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

Dentist Training School.

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

'Instead of 'You're entering a world of pain', try 'This won't hurt a bit.''

'Must you be so judgemental?'

'Virus?' - 'Yes, it's a Latin word we doctors use, meaning I haven't got a clue..'

"Sick? You're not sick! The money I owe on my student loans... now that's sick!"

Infectious Disease Treatment Area

'Naw, man! I ain't never worked in no animal hospital...'

"I've only just started practicing. I'm hoping the proceeds from these first few sessions will pay for a couch."

All-Purpose attorney has all his specialisation running away from him

'So, if this procedure is 100% safe, why do I need to sign this waiver?!'

'We structured the deal so that you'll need a lawyer to explain it.'

'You're worried! What about me? I've never done this operation before!'

'Doctor, you've removed leg bands before, haven't you?'

Hickory, Dickory Doc...Pediatricians

'Well, I'm AGAINST adding a course in business methods to the curriculum....

Welcome to the Society of Veterinarians Who Have Spayed Tomcats!'

'What are we going to do about these grooming parlors...'

'What the hell kind of veterinarian are you going to make...'

'As an amnesiac, we'll slowly build memory. Now, pay me and then try to remember paying me.'

Elephants Trunks.

'I can't afford to marry you, Sara. You're my best patient.'

'They didn't cover THIS in our restraint course at Cornell!'