Starting A Training Role Mugs

She provided customer service training to a diverse audience.

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.

Welcome to the Team

"Before I read the financial report I have to ask... do any of you have a weapon?"

"You must be the newly qualified driver."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"Try not to think of them just as a 'customer' but rather as your only chance of paying your mortgage and putting food on your plate."

"Carrots just didn't get me going anymore, so I switched to chocolate instead..."

"My assistant will show you the ropes."

'Oh, we have an excellent benefits package ??" major medical, dental plan, vacation, retirement, nude encounter sessions....'

'Good new. . . we're moving you to a bigger desk!'

The little engine that delegated

'What a bunch of control freaks!'

"They're going to be tough shoes to fill."

"Now the first thing you have to do is to get a client's attention."

'I'm grooming you for this position and giving you a makeover.'

"I got the promotion. Instead of Wednesdays, I'm now the one who gets blamed when things go wrong on Tuesdays."

'Your training will be the next five minutes watching my fingers move at the speed of light.'

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

"Bob put a chair with wheels on the table and climbed up to change a light bulb. Then the chair rolled away, Bob fell and... well, I guess we need a new industrial safety specialist."

Dolphin tricks.

"And if you don't know what to say, just say, 'Ho, ho, ho!''

'Great first practice. Tomorrow I'll teach you how to land.'

'I'm giving you a bigger desk, so you can take more of my work.'

'It's taken me time to adjust to the different management style here.'

"Take it. It's the dress code."

"In principle we're happy with the trust idea...as long as it's properly monitored and regulated!"

"Welcome to the team, you'll mainly be working from home and just popping into the office every few weeks for a bit of chitchat and bonhomie."

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

'She always comes to my ringtone. It's the sound of a can opener.'

'I know last week's class was brutal, but I have all new material today.'

"This way, O' Brien."