Starting A New Romance T-Shirts

'Don't tell anybody, but I have a date tonight with a rogue agent.'

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

Sexual chemistry set

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"They haven't mated yet, but I think we're getting close."

'You have her home by midnight, now!'

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

"The next dance will be ladies' choice."

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

'I need someone who is willing to make a commitment not someone who's just interested in ruffling my feathers.'

(First signs) (A half loaf of bread, ... a jug and a half of wine, and thou beside me.)

"And for my next trick, I will confuse general politeness for chemistry."

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

Musician

I haven't been down there since last Valentine's day. I want to check on a couple who asked me to rekindle their romance. A year ago I told them that thanks to me they'd be spending more time together and less time at their offices. I said I'd make it so they'd have lots of nights at home ordering some take-out and watching a movie. They must be very happy with me. All I did was shoot an arrow of love, but apparently they think I caused some sort of pandemic to happen!

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

"Oh isn't that your squeeze slithering this way?"

Dating - "Oh, and she must have a sense of humour."

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

Updated fairy tales - "Cinderella." Dating Service. It's not often we get a client looking for a specific shoe size.

"Boy, I'd love to meet you sometime off leash."

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

'I'm falling in love with Eddie... he has the most beautiful biggest organ ever!'

Lance, do I make you want to be a better man? Let me put it this way, Gloria: you definitely make me want to SEEM to be a better man.

I was starting a new chapter in my life and I tripped over a footnote.

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

"Tell me about yourself. Any weird genes or anything?"

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."