Starting A Coaching Career Mugs

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

'Don't ask me what play to call..I've only got a one year contract...you've got a four year scholarship...you decide what play to call.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

I like the Jets...I guess

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Others will fight for you

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

Work/Life Balance

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

Old navy veteran 3rd base coach

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"I hate performance review season."

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"I AM at my usual position."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

'When I was young, I said I'd make it big or know the reason why - Well, I sure know the reason why!'

"Actually, it's more like a mouse race."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

The best PE teacher in the World.