Standardized Test Avoider T-Shirts

"I don't do well on standardized testing. I blame it on standardized tests."

Mental Wellness Center. Some folks coming here are working on multiple issues. Earlier, I saw a germaphobe with a fear of flying. Using an airplane bathroom must be completely out of the question! There's a narcissist with math anxiety and a fear of public speaking. He hopes one day he can stand in front of a large audience and count all the wonderful qualities he believes he has. And that guy has claustrophobia combined with a fear of success. Looks like he's going through a rough period

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

"Says, property of the I.R.S."

'Before you give us your surprise test, could we have a surprise study period?'

' I hit two good balls today - when I stepped on that rake.'

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

Sawdust.

"Are you sure you're not just teaching to the test?"

'I hate surprises!'

'English homework leaves a pleasant after taste. History takes like fast food. But math is a real bummer on my digestive tract.'

"Shouldn't you be studying?

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

"Remember, there are 4 types of questions on the Advanced Placement tests: multiple choice, document based, essay and 'How would you like to drive big rigs for a living?'"

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

I filed my tax return electronically, to speed things up. Sure enough, I got audited in record time.

I don't need to know any math --- I'm going to be a politician.

Snoozed when I should have schmoozed.

"When I hear the word mathematics I immediately think of three things. Boring and useless."

"That's the last time we do our own taxes!"

"Since time is an issue, I didn't have time to organize my receipts."

'Before I send in my taxes,I want to know if I'm going to be audited.'

4th of July and PTSD

"I invited a few friends over. Don’t worry – you can still be miserable."

'I'm not counting the days 'til school's out. I don't do math unless they make me.'

"Fever, chills and dizziness. Sounds like you have a Math test at work today."

Herman likes to stay in his comfort zone.

'He's sleeping nice & peacefully - Lets wake him up for his obs.'

"My only hope is that they eventually drop math from the curriculum."

'Your refund? — oh, we spent that money MONTHS ago!'

It's true your father did get a 4.0 in high school. Of course, that was on the act.

"Poor baby! You can come out now... all that nasty banging has stopped!"

"We came early to avoid the conga line."

'The one thing I hate about summer - great big moths coming in at night.'

Blew off my S.A.T. prep class.