Stage Whisperer Mugs

"This is very mysterious. I can't seem to pick up anything at all about you, but I see 'Ivan the Terrible' coming to the Thalia."

Open Mike for the spotlight operators

"Just be yourself."

Playing dead is easy, but when they ask me to speak, I have to imagine them in their underwear.

At the school of ventriloquism.

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

Public speaking

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'Other dogs howl at the moon, I've trained mine to play Bach.'

A woman playing a keyboard

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

Creative accounting.

"Now all we need is a good script."

'Astronomy I, Astronomy II, Astronomy III'

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

"I love my luvvie."

Duplass Brothers

"I'm in here, rereading the great poets, myself among them."

'The Parkinson would be good PR, but should I wear the hair shirt or the sackcloth and ashes?'

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Frederic Chopin

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

'SSHHH, PIANOS. TWO GRANDS AND A BABY. ONE HAS THE LID UP AND THE OTHER ONE IS BARING ITS KEYS. BETTER GET THE CELLO.'

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

"Keep your shirt on. I'll read your book as soon as I'm done reading the monster his book."

Always stick to the script.

Alas, poor Yorick!

'They say the secret to public speaking is to pick out one person in the audience and talk to him.' 'Well, did you?' 'Yeah. Unfortunately the person I picked out was snickering, pointing and whispering to the guy next to him.'

"He shows enormous potential."

Assorted Smiles, Show Business Awards.

Soft Speaker, Loud Speaker, Deafening Speaker

Carving a Sculpture.

'Tom, you have always had a great ear for music.'