Squirrel Humorist Mugs

'You'll have to do something about your squirrel chasing dogs in the park. It doesn't look right.'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

'Okay, is there anybody else whose homework ate their dog?'

'Dogs are so silly: Just throw a ball or a stick and they'll chase it and bring it back!'

A tortoise toboggans down a hill in its shell

"Gee, thanks pal."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

Don't swallow. I've lost a contact.

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Yes, one is a dog."

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Do you see that inexplicably beautiful hydrangea over there?… Nature calls."

Hats and Food

Glance Exchange

"Scuba cow"

'Jurassic Pork.'

"Someone throw him a punchline!"

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'