Sports Team Captain Pillows

'We're a coalition force, ref.'

Gigantic Titan Inc personnel: 'We have plenty of computer nerds! What we need is jocks to make our softball team more competitive!'

Monster Baseball. The team's continuing to have some problems this season. Jekyll is good one day and bad the next. Dracula only shows up for night games. The Mummy is always covered in bandages and on the injured list. And King Kong can't keep his mind on the game --- Whenever he sees a pretty woman, he climbs up into the stands after her! At least Frankenstein has been pitching great again, just like when he was young! Yeah, he has a completely new arm!

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

Football Fans

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

Captain in a storm

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Go team!

"I hate performance review season."

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"I AM at my usual position."

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."

Punt Cake

"Here, we do not procrastinate, we 'table' things."

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

"We first met on the net. We began to court, but between my foul mouth and Wilson being on the rebound...let's just say it was a long shot, but he pressed, and I was defenseless. Now, we're as 'hoopy' as can be."

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'Gee, you beat Roger again!'

Snooker Golf.

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

I think this interleague play is getting out of hand.

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

Saving a Heart

"To be clear, I said I want your 'A' game, not your 'Eh?' game."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

Personal conker trainer.

Cricket Accidents.