Sports Rulebook Nerd Prints

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

Dr Ed Henderson demonstrates that it IS possible for someone to become too familiar with the safety rules.

'Just think of one of these as enabling legislation for the golden rule.'

"Mam? What's love juice?"

"Tom, let's explore why you feel Andrea's inability to understand 'icing the puck' is passive-aggressive."

'Well, I can't find anything in the rule book about it.'

'You're allowed to pick up the ball before it stops rolling, you know.'

At last he had found the Regulatory Guidelines.

'There really is no need for confusion. Rule 10, section 5, article a, subsection 3, exception 4 quite clearly states ... '

'We could have a problem here lads.'

"It may not be a balk, but it's something."

Sometimes it takes me a little while to adjust!

'Oh for Pete's sake. This ain't nuclear science, gentlemen. I'll read it one more time, but pay attention... 'the infield fly rule is in effect if there is less than two outs and runners on first and second'...'

'Well, you're right, you're not touching the ball with your hands, so the Ref can't penalize you...'

'Stan, wait!... Wrong game!'

'Upon further review, the ruling on the field is upheld. The catch was totally constitutional. Touchdown!'

'Hey Frank! I've told you before that there is no cross checking in chess.'

Guest Houses.

'That does it... Now I'm definitely going to become a lawyer.'

'Oh, that place...? we shut that down AGES ago!'

'Have you hammered out the new rule book yet?'

'...And that's why, in table tennis. We don't jump the net.'

"He's got whistleblower written all over him."

Football foul (red card).

'Great, you can start Monday.. remember, NO BLUE JEANS.'

Being a stickler for rules, Howard refuses to act until his motion has been seconded.

'... 'Pickoff'?... No... 'Ground out'? ... No...'

"I pulled my mask down for five seconds to sip coffee."

'Remember, no hitting below the belt.'

'Just a reminder, gentlemen. It's 4 downs today, not 5.'

'Excuse me, sirs, I think the penalty is enforced from the succeeding spot.'

'All dogs must be on leashes.'

'I tried shooing. What's our policy on swatting?'