Spore Slayer T-Shirts

'This will kill the spores.'

Giant slug attacks a city

Thunk! Teddy! Pick them up! They're toxic to all living things! Ok. Ok. But you don't have to exaggerate. Regrettably � I'm not.

'Not only was the superbug immune to antibiotics, but it had developed a taste for Dr Jones' whisky.'

'Relax Cookie. I'll call the mold monster experts!'

'I was wondering, Mr. Hartwelder, if I could be paid in money rather than stock options?'

"Buy stock in a college?...I don't think you can...but why would we?"

"I'll stop saying 'irregardless' if you'll stop staying 'at this point in time.'"

'It's only a slug Norman.'

Your computer is not fully protected...

Zika: War on Mosquitoes

Rudy, please help me distract level 2 of my video game. Distract? I have no problem with level 1. But as soon as I get past it. I face this super-powerful monster. I can't defeat it. It's so mean, and ... oh no, here it comes! Where? No more playing or talking about video games. Go outside and do something real! I'll never make it to level 3. You'll never make it to your teens.

Medicine.

"We have to develop a new way to build our customer base. Antispam software has put a dent in our marketing strategy."

"This year, no coal for the bad guys!"

Performance anxiety lessons, the more you practice something.

'Yes, I'm gaining weight! Deleting spam all morning makes me really hungry for lunch!'

"Anything but a head shot only angers an attorney."

"After a long day at school, it's nice just to come home, kick back and outrun a horde of bloodthirsty zombies."

'Good morning. You have twelve million terabyte unread e-mails.'

"I'm looking for something with low clearance. Something monsters won't be able to get under."

'Oh, sure, I should wake him up...but I asked him to kill that thing a week ago!'

'Oh for crying out loud, so there's a spider in the bathtub!!'

Internet crap.

"Your sermon had everyone at rapt attention. Good move cutting the church WiFi."

'What exactly is it you dislike about slugs, Mister Crabtree?'

'You have too much salt in your diet.'

'Your presentation left them open-mouthed. Every one of them was yawning!'

'I get that a lot.'

'Hank, if I find one more of these things in the lawn, I'm going to throw away that damn crossbow.'

'Another ad for penis-enlargement.'

"Josephine, my man!"

To unsubscribe to our emails, just follow 630 easy steps

'Where're you going?' - 'Off to have your sausages carbon dated.'

"To be honest I thought it would be more intimidating..."