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Jesus Loves Me According To Wikipedia

"I regret believing in reincarnation."

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

At the 2021 Religious Games

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Ten Commandments

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

Guru.

"That's our new church mascot."

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

Praying mantis.

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

Single Prayer Health Insurance

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

'Right now I'm counting the blessings that we owe to Uncle Sam.'

Praying Mantis.

Regifts of the Magi

Shoe repair

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

Finger puppets in church.

OM, SWEET OM

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

"...and thank you for sending my guardian angel to protect me from that truck today..."

'Look, several prisoners in my client's facility have reported finding God in their cells! Yet you claim you've never broken in one time?'

Moses' TV guide.

"Look, don't 'Amen' me, and I won't 'Amen' you."

'I'd like to attract them with dynamic preaching, but I'm not above luring them with sugar.'

"Can you write 'To Mandy - you're the best'?"

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"We’re having privacy concerns with your omniscience."

"'Host' and Cheese?"