Speaking At Conferences T-Shirts

"Feel free to use it. It's an emergency escape hatch if you say something controversial."

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Inclusive speech

The interested bystanders.

"Nervous about this morning's presentation?"

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"I don't think the guy with the business-card cannon has ever been to an actual networking event,"

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

I've been looking forward to this the whole year: It can get lonely out there...

Wearing a sales chart as a name badge.

Conference Pears

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

'And in conclusion.'

'In conclusion, I hope you all go out there, get well-paying jobs, and give lots of tax-deductible gifts to our alumni fund.'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

'Let me present today's speaker.'

Is that one of those wafer thin computers?

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

William Pitt the Elder

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

Communication Breakdowns

Chaos Theory Conference.