Software Survivor Pillows

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"I feel your pain."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

Office Weather

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

"Sorry, I'm preaching again. Why don't we pause for a moment while I pass around the collection plate."

Getting through the week.

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

Twisted Peel works overtime.

"Granberry, you're about to suffer a near-death experience!"

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

"When everyone's an 800 pound gorilla, nobody's an 800 pound gorilla.".

'And in conclusion.'

That's not the reaction I was going for. Let me try to put a different spin on it.

Exhausted employee

"I don't understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn't on his to do list!"

"I hate when she drags herself to work. Am I supposed to feel guilty?"

"I am totally ready for this presentation."

"I'm putting you in charge of this project because you're already miserable."

Well you know what they say - here today gone tomorrow - or in the case of dotcoms, here today gone shortly after lunch.

Frank was famous for his anti-inflammatory rhetoric.

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

"Leadership is all about making sacrifices and you are OURS!"