Socially Selective Soul T-Shirts

"Well look who decided to show up."

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

"It's not the persistent lack of sunlight or freezing temperatures that bother me - it's the crowds I can't stand."

Romance

Dick was the kind of guy who wanted everyone to know it was his birthday.

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

'I always cry at weddings!'

"She loves you... yeah... yeah... yeah..."

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"I'm leaving. It's just way too much collaborating."

"You do realise that the post is only part time, no more than 70 or 80 hours a week."

"I don't care if it's plant-based, you're creeping everyone out."

You're the cream in my coffee.

The older I get, the more introspective I get, or is that retrospective?'

Letter writing lady.

Romantic Tree Carving

Trilby - 'Oh my poor girl! my poor girl!'

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

"I hope you don't call that a party face."

"It was her mothers"

Emily Dickinson at a Cocktail Party: "I;m Nobody! Who are you? Are you - Nobody - too?"

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

"Do you have to do that even when it's not Valentine's Day?"

'I can change! I swear!'

'When love is color Blind.'

"Not enough money is being spent on safety, so be careful."

"Wow, these are great cartoons! We have to let them go, and anyway, cartoonists are on the endangered species list..."

'Mummy, can you please pull the curtain and make it dark please? I'm scared of the light...'

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

'Openly sobbing, or non-openly sobbing?'

The Sensitive Dude.

An Introvert's Guide to Surviving a Party

Late-Onset Epiphany

"I don't want to be alone when I'm old, either, so when we're old let's get back in touch."