Socially Selective Friends Gifts

An Introvert's Guide to Surviving a Party

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'Some things are better left unsaid but I never know what they are until after I've said them.'

'The only time he works up a sweat is running to the dinner table...'

Stay apart & stay happy

'Remember our pillow-talk session, Morton, when you said 'the risk of rejection gives love it's existential edge'?'

"Let's go somewhere fun and not really experience it."

"Well look who decided to show up."

'Use the stepladder. We've started another level.'

'I thought I heard you rattling around.'

"My YouTube channel The Happy Hermit has really taken off since lockdown began."

"No, this isn't the liquor talking But I am a spokesperson for the liquor."

"I've made peace with my demons."

"I don't think this guy is even remotely capable of getting a clue."

"Honey, you're doing that thing again where you stare into space and wonder how I talked you into leaving the house."

'I'm a hermit crab and like it this way, so no, I don't want to join any social network!'

'All right, guys, let's take a little break then give it another try...'

'Millionaires Club - Self-Made - Inherited'

"Nice to meet you. And may I just say, I don't feel uncomfortable at all."

'A Chiswick Fete'

"Sorry, Doc, all I heard was wine and chocolate can sometimes be beneficial."

'Funny how I always get on well with weirdos . . . Dunno why!'

Can we have our ball back please?

"Well gentlemen, I think it's time we rejoined the ladyboys."

Pinocchio Noses

'I'll have to go - some-one's knocking at the door.'

'I'm Attila, you know, the Hun.'

Man Asking Ugly Woman To Dance.

"I specifically heard you say, "Ruby, can you please go out and walk the dog?. . ."

"Dickie Wilson attacked my values."

'Our silences aren't awkward enough.'

'Don't make EYE CONTACT.'

'Wow! This is double the turn out my men's group usually gets.'