Social Security Buffs Pillows

"Abuelo, can we read the one about social security reforms again?"

'If social security were privatized, the administration also suggested a name change to 'Bush-Cheney-Rumsfeld holdings inc.''

Conspiracy Theory Books

Piorities in Minnesota.

"You can take it with you down here - but no social conscience funds."

'The man you're replacing had some objections to the early retirement program.'

'I see the truth-in-advertising-people got wind of the proposed privatising...'

"Scary stuff, but I'm not sure the world is ready for the unexpurgated story of life as a pensions adviser!"

Department of Work and No Pension

'It's an idea whose time has come! -- Variable-rate Social Security!'

'We looked at a variety of options for allocating money to the voluntary agencies...and letting them fight it out was by far the cheapest.'

"You'd think having nine lives, we'd be better at retirement planning."

"But, Senator, all the cool kids were doing it."

"Do I have to take sides between Ed Koch and Donald Trump?"

Jimmy Hoffa in hell.

"The technical aspects of the 'dashboard' are mainly resolved. Now we just have to sort out the peripheral services."

We're Not All Like That

CIVICS 101

"The pensions industry needs to dramatically improve the way we communicate with customers."

Medical insurance reminder

"The new government is determined to act decisively on the 'pensions crisis'."

"Plan B was to supplement my retirement income as a party clown, and that brings me to my loan application."

RIP Retirement In Peace

"Words from the wise, Grandson, live to be 100, but never get sick, old or retire!"

"I'm sorry, congressman, but Mrs. Grebbish gets a bit testy when somebody proposes to mess with her social security and medicare...."

"My social security number is one."

Office of Social Insecurity.

Chasing Pensions

'Looks like the trust my money is in isn't blind, but it is short sighted.'

'While you're wearing that smug ‘we don't have kids' look, who's paying into social security?'

'Our retirement plan is to transfer you to our burger joint division, to suppliment your secial security.'

'Son, you've been a good tax deduction, but now you must join your kind in the work force and prop up my social security.'

Lost it all in the recovery

'I know I should be able to but I can't, I just can't...22nd November 1963...give me a clue.'

"Oh no! It's another lecture on his pension contributions!"