Social Improvement Buff Gifts

'Apparently it's not enough to say that 'lots of people think we do a jolly good job' anymore.'

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

'Meditation centre' 'Coffee, Tea, Enlightment, Refreshments'

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

Tipping Pain Chart

'No way! To fund health, education and welfare, we'd be forced to tax oil companies!'

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

"See. . .? We did do something."

"And once we wipe out the disease, where does that leave us?"

"At the moment I'm torn between the emotionally rewarding but poorly resourced role of a social worker or a more intellectualy rigorous career in quantum physics."

'It's a silent protest.'

"We're still trying to sort out the details."

Our 4 Branches of Government

'I'm dreaming of a white. . . err. . . I mean a more inclusive Christmas.'

Piorities in Minnesota.

Never on Sunday

'As long as they don't touch the undeserving rich.'

"The minimum wage is frozen to give the working poor the chance to aspire to a working wage.

'So then the alien stepped out of the UFO and said that he was a fundraiser from another planet, which was quite novel, I thought.'

Psychiatrist. She said she could help get me in touch with reality or boost my self-esteem but not both.

'We need someone on the outside.'

Gun Culture in the US

Elwood 'I Can Fix This Myself' McGrunzen

'This won't take long, Senator -- I'm a single-issue nut.'

Appeals

'It's an idea whose time has come! -- Variable-rate Social Security!'

'They're not our 'profits,' Mike. We like to think of them as the organic by-products of non-toxic capitalism!'

The shakedown escalates.

'The prisons are full, so I'm releasing you back into the wild.'

Brain Charger

Cartoonist Pencil

"Nobody believes in me."

'No wonder people are cynical about government. Fooling some of the people all the time no longer works.'

"Based on your resume you're not really qualified for the job...but there's just something about you I like!"