Snip Snip Expert Pillows

"I think he's going to be a bus driver - he loves cutting things up."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Hair Traffic control.

Excess Baggage: Why can't airports provide a decent place for paying customers to catch forty winks?

A boy and his spin patrol.

"With me everything is 'scratch and sniff'."

'He's a sniffer dog-trained to sniff out dope.'

"Gesundheit."

'What an AMAZING display!'

This is the shortcut!

"This cheap wine doesn't have a cork to smell, but the label is scratch and sniff."

Could you make me look a little bit more 'cowy'?

'You had a long nap.'

Manna from heaven puts the olfactory talents of Israel's dogs to the test.'

"I'll be damned – a Bachman's warbler on the President's limo!"

'Not being able to blink used to be a problem.'

'Let me call my wife. She's full of 'second opinions'.

'That's Fred, or as we call him, Napster.'

The Whip Hand

'Hoyt group: Gluttony, Lust, Sloth, Envy, Pride, Anger & Greed Management'

'I hope his headcold doesn't go to his chest.'

'Cut both both short. Hair and the conversation!'

Ed could talk the talk and walk the walk, but just not while carrying hot liquids.

'We need to work on that slice of yours.'

"Nutty with notes of grass and dirt."

To counteract the pub bore Al cultivated the ancient art of sleeping with his eyes open.

"Our mistress is a florist you see, so it's fun to sniff her when she gets home to guess which flowers are in season..."