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Fast Food Dieter

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Rage.

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Super Heroes.

Love is when you watch television together.

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

Budget Bureau. Ernie, spilling something from every food group on it, does not make it a "balanced" budget!

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

Back in 5 minutes!

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

"Goal!"

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

Sheltering in place.

Supermarket - World Cup Specials

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

Pope tarts.

"He's an indoor cat."

"Thanks, but I already have my 'support bubble' right here."