Smart Home Experimenter T-Shirts

"I realize you have a sore throat and can't talk, but I doubt Siri can read your cue cards."

"There's smart phones and smart cars, so why can't there be smart rooms that clean themselves?"

"I have an imaginary friend called Fred, and my dad has one called Alexa."

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"I think our smart home is suffering from separation anxiety. It's following us."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

Well, you and I know it's our home, but our 'smart home' doesn't know it's our home

"That thermostat I bought is smart. It knows how cheap I am, so it keeps our home freezing."

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

"Our smart home sure is sensitive. Every time I hammer a nail in the wall it screams."

"A watched kettle never boils, so I'm covering up Alexa."

"I synchronized the complete household with the computer and the smartphone. Now I don't have to feel lonely when nobody is at home because I can talk to the loo."

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

'Good grief! Our house is so 'smart' it just refinanced itself!'

"These are smart socks. They will crawl themselves to the clothes hamper when you throw them on the floor. Make sure they're charged before wearing them."

"Hey Google, describe the view."

"Officer, someone hacked my bluetooth pressure cooker and blew my kitchen apart! What can I do?"

'Say - according to our home computer, we're out of bread.'

"I'm a home-tech specialist. Your daughter called us. I'm here to convert her doll house into a smart doll house."

Fred began to understand why this kit house was so cheap.

"Question ... what is my motivation to ever leave this armchair?"

"The last vampire who lived in it spared no expense on upgrades. Especially when it comes to the latest technology."

"It's a smart toaster. If you can't figure it out, press the 'Dumb It Down' button."

"Yes, we now have smart mirrors that can read your mood."

"Good morning, Doug, I've had a chat with the other smart appliances, and we feel we'll be just fine without you from here on in."

"No, it's not a computer monitor. It's a doggy door. Not everything is technology related."

"This home doesn't have a good view, but it comes with smart windows that change the view to something beautiful."

"How do you like our new smart water hose? It knows when you're dirty and hoses you off before you come into the house."

"I'm all for the internet of things - but I hate pop-up ads."

I just realized how vulnerable I am to people who could hack my phone, my self-driving car, my tv, my garage door opener … So I bought a device called "Trojan Horse: that's supposed to protect me from all that. It connects to my wifi router. It monitors all my web traffic, all my connected devices, and ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's supposed to keep the hackers out somehow. What did you say the device is called again? Now I don't worry about anyone hacking my toaster.