Small Town Explorers Gifts

Just as sinister, creepy and full of dark secrets as the towns on those TV shows, but without all the 'Look at us, look at us, Aren't we special?' Nonsense.

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

Wildlife

A tube of toothpaste doesn't reach its full potential until in the hands of a baby.

1989 Map Of Sorghum Corners, Ohio

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

"I'm going crazy staring at the same four legs."

Fossil hunting

"At first I was concerned about the Earth opening up. But I was going to build a fire pit, so it actually saved me a lot of time."

Welcome to Yellow Pages, Vermont

"I cleaned out the RV. We accumulated a lot stuff since we started RVing..."

"This is it? No video?"

Manhattan Woods

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

"I think it’s time we started holding other kids’ hands."

'I feel much safer living in a gated community.'

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

'Now let's call and see what time it is in CHINA!'

'The real fun comes when we go through airport security.'

"Sure makes a change from New York!"

Girl asking her little cousin what he would like for his birthday

'The difference between this place and yoghurt is... Yoghurt has real culture!'

I love this age: Old enough to know better, young enough to get away with it. Ketchup.

A child climbs on a stack of books to reach a large metal key.

"I think oral sex is when they just talk about it."

look dear... I bought two farmers

"Ambitions... to stand on my own two feet."

'According to the map, we're about to sail off the end of the earth.'

'Are we there yet?'

Warm Hearts Adoption Agency: Humans and Highways.

Welcome to Springdale...'We're number 10, 11, or maybe 12!'

"Dudes - we should make the last booby trap a giant bowling ball!"

"Old abandoned bar"

'Wow! Your head weights 23 pounds just like your feet!'

road sign: "Gilkers Corners Population 926