Small Space Dweller Gifts

"The mirrors really do make this apartment look bigger."

'I bought my dream home, it's a bachelor suite.'

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"I've no idea. Maybe it's the slumber channel."

In case of emergency, break glass.

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

"Come and get it!"

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

'Don't worry about the company's pension plan. The way we work you, you'll be lucky to live that long!'

Businessman at a bar mad to look like desk. Bartender says: 'The usual, Mr. B?'

'Bring me the Wimbish report and a short worm, Ms Perkins, no time for lunch today.'

"Quit your whining... Someday you'll appreciate affordable student housing."

Student Food Pyramid

Full work boxes: 'IN and MORE IN'.

'I've noticed that no matter how busy you are, you are never too busy to stop an talk about how busy you are.'

For the musician strapped for space...the Murphy piano.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

The weightless office.

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

'See I told you the garden was big enough for a table and chairs.'

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

The moles have adapted to the winter weather.

Al, The Go-From Guy

Paper being carefully folded until it resembles a scrunched up paper ball.

Biting Slippers.

"That's our copy cat."

Room-mate Homicides Waiting to Happen. . .

"I need an apartment just big enough for a laptop, a coffee cup, and me."

"Haay, Tia Carmen, these eggs sure are fresh! What's your secret?"

"Experience is the wonderful knowledge that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again."

"Wait a minute. Where am I going? I'm a writer."

"I wonder which will come first. Me finishing this binge worthy Netflix series or another Netflix rate hike."