Small Business Manager T-Shirts

"Yes, that's our bathroom. We're a startup, so plumbing and running water is a luxury."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"We're experienced an extraordinary amount of growth this year."

"Although technically it's a profit and loss statement, the narrative is admittedly rather one-sided."

The MBA Draft

"Business doesn't take a summer vacation."

"He likes it."

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Ice Cream And Summer Rentals

'Before we start, shall we go round the table, and each share our name and a horrible dark secret from our past.'

"In a further effort to increase profits, control costs and satisfy shareholders, we've decided to steal stuff."

"I know it's misspelled, but market research shows that cute sells."

'One final question: Have you ever been disciplined, investigated or suspended for integrity on the job?'

'What's the smallest budget you can manage on?' 'The most you can give me!'

Stock market investment advice

'The massive arrests have made the plans for downsizing much easier.'

"Al, you've been chosen Businessman of the Year by the Junior Chamber of Commerce."

'I treat everyone here the same as my family. . . like s**t.'

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

'You're developing a reputation as something of a cowboy, Henderson.'

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

"Mom, will you help me take down my drawings? I'm selling my catalog."

'And finally. . . where do you see yourself on the food chain 5 years from now?'