Sling Survivor Mugs

'Don't use that arm... for a day or two!'

"The first one's just a warning."

Learn to play the violin in one weekend - 'This isn't working! It's Saturday evening already and I've only got as far as holding it properly...'

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

Whatever!

"Daddy's taking him to the woodshed, again!"

"Love the tie, Chad—that is so pimp!"

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

Today's Rapunzel

'Too-Wit-Woola-Bool-Kerla-Bam-Boo!'

The Wright Bruhs take their maiden flight.

"Can i get a transfer from the porcupine enclosure..?

Gymnast tangled up.

Your English teacher says you use too many Americanisms.

'Remember, I deduct one grade point for every splinter.'

She hated first dates. She always ended up sounding desperate.

The corner that Spring's around

'Dewey is a cowboy's cowboy!'

Man hospitalized and in a full body cast is reading bedtime stories.

Why some people shouldn't try keeping up with slang. So, twerking hard or hardly twerking?

I hear we're called gen txt. It's demeaning. Suggests our lives revolve 'round shallow misspelled missives. No dout! You're not helping me here. Y U usin big words? Hirz link 2 utube vid of cat pukin. Awsum!

'Bob, you're suffering from embarrassing static cling.'

Teen Weather

J.D. Power & Associate

Man carring a child sees his silhoutte,which makes him look pregnant.

Kibosh farmin'

"....We take the slugs into the countryside and release them."

Man digging a path to his dog's kennel through the snow.

'I would like to find at least ONE bar that isn't a meat market.'

All my owner says is "Heel, heel, heel" --- And then he wonders why I keep chewing on his shoe!

Terms and Conditions

"I can't believe how deep the potholes are this spring!!"

'BRRRR. Why is it taking so long to get warm?'

'Don't worry, the first 30 years of bee keeping are the hardest.'

Mindfulness meditation vs. Mindfulness scrolling.