Sleep Story Enthusiast Pillows

'Of course I'm confused, I keep dreaming I'm an insomniac.'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"I think I need an extra pillow."

'Assuming their porridge was poured at the same time, how could it then be too hot, too cold and just right?'

Wordplay: Hibernation.

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

'The pioneers opened the frontier, but it wasn't legal until brave lawyers blazed the paper trail!'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

"I'm down to only one nap a day. From 8 am t0 8 pm."

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

Broken Alarm Clock.

Contented man and cat sleeping

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

"Is the Itsy Bitsy Spider obsessive-compulsive?"

'Don't take this the wrong way, Honey, but not only have I decided to hibernate this year, but I want to hibernate in the spare room...'

Do not disturb...

'I hate counting sheep. I get enough math at school.'

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

'Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!'

This is our 36th nap today - I can't read you a bedtime story EVERY time.

"I like to come prepared for meetings."

"I only drink decaf, otherwise I'm awake up to four hours a day."

Let's not do anything we'll regret in the morning. I like to sleep past noon.

Oh, come on this insomnia is driving me nuts! Just shoot me with a tranquilizer dart, wouldja!

"Let's go to sleep so that when we wake up today will be tomorrow."

"You were snoring."

"What's with your hair?"

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep