Sleep-deprived Storyteller Mugs

"I had a bad dream that you were getting rest."

"How's the insomnia?"

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

Tired Barbie

'It wouldn't hurt to say a few words.'

"There's no way we can get him ow. He's completely under the covers."

'Don't be silly - the sun won't burn itself our for another 5 billion years. Bedsides, the Earth will have been smashed to smithereens by asteroids long before that.'

"Puffiness and dark circles under the eyes, sniffles, trouble sleeping, rashes...you don't have allergies...you have children."

"Papi, I heard something!"

'Have a couple of dreams, and call me in the morning.'

"I also have trouble sleeping. I don't understand why. No one I talk to seems to have any trouble falling asleep."

Aging Sign # 23: you're dehydrated and yet up peeing all night.

'The nurses tell me that you're having trouble sleeping, so I thought I'd try a sermon just to help.'

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

He's mumbling again! What do you think husbands dream about?

"Today is my second birthday and I wanted to let you know that I intend to take full advantage of my terrible twos!"

The End is Night

Husband splashing tea over newspaper.

'Sleeping like a baby'

Oh, come on. Don't think of this as 'going to bed.' Think of this as a short break between nighttime naughtiness and morning mayhem.

"No dear - there are no malcontents at odds with society under your bed."

I'm not fussy! I'm stir-crazy!

"Teacher said I should be an astronomer. I'm really good at staring into space!"

'Of course I'm confused, I keep dreaming I'm an insomniac.'

Teddy sweeping up zzz

"Yecch! How can something so sweet put out something so yucky?"

'It's your turn, dear.'

'I'm sorry, but I think you should find a new analyst... your dreams are just too boring for me.'

Overworked doctors in need of sleep

"It's not easy, the constant demand for attention, the fussing and crying..."

'There are four reasons for him to cry...he's hungry, he's wet, a pin is sticking him, or he wants to wake you up from a sound sleep.'

Why am I always the one to get up at 2 P.M. to change him?I'm just as nocturnal as you are, Clint.

"What time should we wake him for breakfast?"

"Cathy, this will be an easy sleepover for you - Ben doesn't take any medications at all."

"Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that you're having trouble getting out of bed in the morning; you know we do have counsellors in the building if you feel you need support with that."