Sky King Pillows

'You're going to have to drop out if you want to graduate.'

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

Famous Last Words: "Whew! Well, at least the worst is behind us."

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

"Yours is adjustable?"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'The dog ate my homework -- I thought maybe you could X-ray him.'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

The Unhappy King

'You're not really that much help, Ben.'

'Good news from the field, sire! Attila did not like the referee's call, so he's folding up his tents, taking his ball and going home!'

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

The Royal Wii

"Congratulations, Gentlemen! We removed it from his skull without damaging his funny bone!"

"How was prom?"

'I cut myself slashing the budget!'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'This new jester doth appeal to me.'

"You have a really lousy sense of humor."

'That's a personal foul, roughing the passer!'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

A war would have been bad enough, but losing Alsace-Lorraine in a poker game?

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

"We lost another battle? Why does this keep happening?"

"If I had it all to do over again, I would have liked to be the King of Swing."

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'