Skill Enhancer T-Shirts

"Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you no longer own him."

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

Ego Increasing School

'I'm working because I've been upgraded. He never upgraded so he's out of work.'

Keys to Success: Focus, Alertness, Concentration...

'Why is it you never sign up for any trainings?'

"I see a beautiful future ahead for you in the private sector."

"How learning curves feel... Before: Holy hell During: I'm not gonna make it! After: That wasn't so bad! The next time: Again?!!"

How to Polish Up Your Resume. Remember, you don't want to polish it to the point you can actually see yourself in it.

You are more than your job description.

"Our training program was too successful. Twenty employees used their new skills to leave the company for better jobs."

"Supersize me."

Brenda tests to see if Karl can truly handle the low points of living together.

Test dummies holding 'Kama Sutra For Dummies' manual.

"If we're learning about multitasking, why does she need our 'undivided attention?'"

'Well, what seems to be the problem?'

Institute (brain).

"Apart from helping the community, making new friends, enjoying your experiences, supporting people in need, developing new skills, building a better community and having fun I can't see the point in volunteering!"

'Ready to try out your new training?'

'Excellent at juggling multiple job duties.'

"Here at Pharmacorp we are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience."

Gingko Biloba being poured into a Think Tank.

Some jobs are less satisfying than others because they use few of the jobholder's skills and abilities, and the job itself forms only a small part of the finished product.

'It's my wife's reminder to put the toilet seat down.'

This is my report on my summer vacation, and that's my script doctor, Murray, who helped me punch it up a bit.

Moses and the Screenwriter: 'Accurate-Shmaccurate...if you want this story to sell, it needs some punching up.'

'Multi-skilling course.'

'I'm flattered by your imitation, unless you just want to be taller than me.'

Popping another charisma pill may do the trick!

I've got to fight through my creative malaise. I've come up with a list of ways to eke out more money from customers. Let's hear 'em. Charge for extra pads of butter. It's okay, but it's boring. Right. How about: raise coffee prices; sell only day-old pastries; turn off the lights to save electricity ... Boring, boring, boring. Require people to make their own drinks? C'mon, you're not even trying.

'Carlisle, is it true that you've been wearing elevator shoes?'

"We need a bigger doghouse."

"There's not a lot I can do for you, Mr. Wilkinson, except maybe to suggest trying built up shoes."