Skeptical Champion Pillows

'Get with it, Ralph! Trophies are meaningless, when everyone gets one!'

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"Let's face it. The only play you've ever liked is 'Stop the World - I Want to Get Off.'"

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

Stock market investment advice

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

Conspiracy Theory Bookstore: JFK, Princess Di, and Osama Bin Laden.

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"Why do I hate religion? Imagine if half the money ever donated to religion had instead been used for scientific research. That's the world religion stole from me! Instead of worrying about the coronavirus, I could be slaying orcs on a starship's holodeck!"

"Let's try to think of something that untold millions of people will buy."

Flat-earthers and round-earthers reach a compromise.

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

'No, I don't believe in life after birth. When you're born, you're born!'

"If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we admit that the moon landing was a big conspiracy?"

"The best laid plans of mice and men... differ materially in their objectives."

Cemetery with graves engraved 'traditional medicine' and 'alternative medicine'.

"Baseball is boring."

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

The conspiracy behind conspiracy theories.

"If it takes the GMC 20 years to spot a rogue surgeon what chance have you got in 20 minutes?"

"The sky isn't really falling -- I'm just trying to make a living."

"Can atheists refuse to participate?"

"Nihilistic rage motivates me to cling desperately to this job."

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

'If this isn't a placebo you gave me, how come it says 'M&M' on it?'

"You're not gonna stick that thing in my arm..! Nobody knows what's in it!!"

"Before I give you my answer I just gotta be sure you ain't one of them nasty olee-garks I've been hearing about."

"Nope! Not that one! They still believe that 'gods' created the universe!"

Man to man re: crackpot's sign that says, 'Your Nutty Idea Here': Everybody's out to make a buck these days.

"My mind is plenty open, Grandma. But not so much that my brain falls out."

"Thank you for not praying."

Monitoring the Air Quality