Skeptic Of The Digital Age Prints

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

Rare Books

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

Library door sign says, 'We have encyclopedias ... the original Facebook!'

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"You need the toilet. . . hang on I think I've got an app for that."

Press Any Key. No, Not That One.

'We're beta testing Goo-Goo Glass.'

"We no longer have to hide. Bigfoot hunters now only search for us online. It's going to be lonely around here."

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

"Turn on the news." "I will not comply." "My analysis of your viewing patterns has determined you will grow depressed after the lead story." "There is a 95% probability you will then gorge yourself on rocky road ice cream and then stay up all night googling elliptical machines and diet pills." "Who told you this?" "Both your refrigerator and your browser are gossipy."

'Can you just send the digital copy?'

'Remember when we used desktop computers? When everyone at least 'looked' busy?'

Domestic Spying Drones

'Read ALL about IT! While we're STILL in Circulation!'

The other digital divide.

Please stand by...I have temporarily lost my reason.

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

Quadruple dark hot chocolate. Whoa, everything all right? Sure, yeah, great. I'm a journalist and writer in an era in which the printed word has been totally devalued by free distribution of information on the internet. Can I pay in prose? Point taken.

"No, it's not codependency. The neediness is just in one direction."

To get past the gates of Heaven you have to now enter an internet style password

The benefit of an old-fashioned newspaper.

Facebook/Cambridge Analytica Scandal

'Another big newspaper just went out of business.', 'How did you hear about that?', 'I read it on the internet.'

'I think I'll wait for the movie.'

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending" yourself on Facebook."

"All the better to ignore you with."

Moses comes down the mountain with the first silicon chip.

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."