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'Motherhood is great, but I get a really sore back...'

'No provision for day care, eh?'

'Inverted nipple? It's probably just incredibly shy.'

"I love being on the mommy track."

"I'll have the oat milk latte with extra sugar."

'I've never seen mum change these when they get empty.'

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

"There's even an app for being a mother!"

Babies holding up 'Happy Mother's Day' sign in maternity ward

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Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

"We realize that kids start using technology at a younger age these days, so our strollers come with Bluetooth, Wi-Fi and GPS."

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"Darling... I think the Baby's been eating the fridge magnets again."

Fitness Programme for babies

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

'At midnight, we go over the wall.'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

Somewhere in France: "I thought I was buying goat cheese. I endedup with a chateau in the Loire."

How's the new one?

"At our age we should be moisturizing." "Honey, we started years ago... with our lips."

"Which do I enjoy more. . . the grillin' or the chillin'?"

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

"We're on our way to the mall to do some off-line shopping."

"Technology is for babies!"

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

Moms gone wild

"Going to the beach with kids Sand in eyes, food, crevices Chasing after them with sun cream Frantically checking they haven't been kidnapped or swept out to sea Enjoying it"

'You say that he's so good that you 'Don't know you've got him', so what's the point of him?'

'It's a girl and she's an artist in her gestational period.'

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

'This might be a good time to discuss a few grievances.'

"I don’t see how confirming who I like best will help this situation."

'I never know how much to leave for lunch.'