Single Parent Superhero Mugs

"You'll have to be both mother and father to the kids while I'm not there to give them guidance."

'You know, termite queens have over 100 million offspring. I mean, just saying...'

Mom, I think you're carrying us too much.

"Sure, I'd get married again, but who wants a she-wolf with two adopted children?"

"How many times have I told you kids to turn off the light when you leave a room?!"

It's nothing to worry about - many kids his age have trouble with the letter S.

'Still having trouble finding day care?'

'Don't look now - it's a ghost from our Christmas party past.'

Fathers are Heroes

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

'He's at that difficult age: 0 to 16.'

Children.

Muscular Dad

A father and son in a car packed with thier possessions

Add your kids' ages together...

'How about wearing a limo driver's cap when taking me to practice?'

Single parents.

"Please continue as a lab rat, we have five mouths to feed!"

Parents teacher conference.

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.

'Hello, parental support hotline? I was able to rise up and become super Mom. How do I get back down?'

Two children arguing - 'My dad's more absent than your dad'

'You never knew your father -- he chased a squirrel into a car wash.'

"Once upon a time there was mummy bear, baby bear and absent daddy bear."

"Mommy is taking the nap that you refused to take."

Beware of geeks bearing gifts.

'For me, this is actually an improvement; my wife is home with our octuplets.'

"Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with a nanny state."

No, I don't have a Dad: Mum says that the Vet came to see her one day and that I was born a few months later...'

Dad reaching into medicine cupboard

"I just bought these smart headphones for parents. They mute all sarcastic remarks and complaining from my kids. I programmed them to do the same for my husband."

"You're saying that an only child having an imaginary friend is perfectly normal, doctor?"

'This reminds me of my Senior Prom... without flowers and three kids.'

Mom's Diner - We reserve the right to refuse service to naughty boys!

"We don't celebrate Father's Day at my house, in fact, I've never met my dad..."