Sincere Well-wisher T-Shirts

I need a greeting card that starts funny, moves on to heartfelt sympathy, and ends on a note of renewed confidence and joy.

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

Priest

' Get ready to make a wish.'

Storm in a magic lamp.

'What can you wish for?!... Oh, I don't know... Infinite wealth, beautiful women throwing themselves at your feet, fame and admiration, perhaps?... But, don't let me influence you.'

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

Wish upon a star (well it's worth a try).

'Before I grant you your wish you have to fill out an environmental statement.'

'You broke your wishbone. I'd suggest making a wish.'

Oil explodes from the wishing well.

'Can you make me taste like broccoli?'

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

"In a Universe Light Years Away...Almost, son, but remember you have to light up all the people for your wish to come true."

Wishing Well

A Discreet Hint.

Just a sec – I want to see which wishes get the most likes before I decide.

Genie.

Greetings!

Future beauty pageant contestants' Christmas wish.

"I cant do that! Who's gonna deliver the mail?!"

What do you wish for next year?

"If I had three wishes, my last wish would be to only have two wishes."

"Hearing aids. What did you wish for?"

Make a Wish

'Star light, star bright, first star I...' 'No.'

"I wish people would stop throwing money in me..."

Wine Well

"How much do you tip your genie?"

"Stupid superstitious waste of money - what'd you wish for, a new vacuum?"

'It was his last request. 'Once around the park'.'

'I wish I was still wearing size 32 underwear.'

Wishing Well - "It works!"

"We have a new card line called 'It Must Be Nice'. Congratulate your friends, but with a hint of bitterness."