Silver Tongue T-Shirts

"You say the nicest things. . . and perfectly sober as well."

'My son, the telemarketer...'

"I don't know who you are!"

"I came here to get in shape, young man! What does me picking up your bar bill have to do with it?"

Silver Fox

'We,ve still got it,Fred-it's a pity they don't want it anymore!'

You're certain you've had plenty of experience serving in a fine dining restaurant?

"While you're at it, can you do something with him? He can't remember a thing!"

Gerontologist on the phone - 'Oh, you know ... same old, same old ... and how are things with you?'

Silver Sufferer - husband looking at steam trains on the internet, wife bored in background

"He's fluent in 24 computer languages and never says a bloody word to me."

'What do you mean, 'act my age'?... If I did that I'd be dead!'

Wife doing Internet banking & Online shopping, saying 'Darling, I'm just collecting my pension. Is there anything we need from the shops?'

'He became an enthusiastic silver surger when he discovered there are nude ladies on the internet.'

Screenior citizen

"That's just the meds kicking in."

Antiques roadshow: 'Yes it's definitely Silver'

"You know you're old when you have to warm up just to take out the garbage."

'Mum, grandpa needs new batteries!'

Somehow, she knew she'd fooled nobody.

"That's right, sir, you did book a table for four but you didn't say anything about chairs."

'In my fantasy retirement league, I'm having a great time.'

'I had a really bad day at work! . . . I was expecting it to be utterly horrific. . . but in the end it was just really bad. . . My cracked glass is half full!'

"Sombody say MOUSE?"

"Money, of course, is a producer's medium."

"In old age work is less fun and fun is more work."

girl asking her grey haired grandma about Parisian hair styles

Festistive Devices

"I took a viagra before going to the senior citizen's dance, last night, and I couldn't get anyone to come to my place. So there I stood, all dressed up and no place to go!"

Oap recruitment.

"Grow old gracefully but don't be a jerk about it."

"Do you take this person for better or worse, rich or poor, in sickness, even without Medicare supplemental insurance?"

"I'm liver spot spice."