Silver Comedian Mugs

"You know you're getting old when you can find your way around all the local hospitals blindfolded."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Showbiz Awards

Zombie standup

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

Boneheads! I never said I was bringing ten condiments!

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'The circle is complete!'

Trump pardons

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'Your French dip, sir.'

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

To no ones surprise, they ran head-on into one another. (All couples are wearing teachers reading 'I'm with Stupid'.)

"We're following Carrot Top."

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

A Guide to Balloon Animals

No-Work Orange

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

The Rooster Comedian.