Sibling Rivalry Solver Mugs

'No, the Patriot Act doesn't make it all right for you to read your sister's diary!'

'I am so proud: My kids are finally fighting all the time!'

Polygamists' Picnic

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

The noise from the basement was probably nothing – but if it was, she was a sacrifice her older brothers were willing to make.

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

"Act your birth order!"

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'Sorry, cash only -- we don't accept little brothers.'

'Mum, she pulled my mane!'

"You can't live in our basement. Your brother beat you to it."

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'

'I suppose this puts my new bike on the back burner?'

'Does this mean I have to share my pocket money?'

'MOM! -- Samantha called me names in her diary!'

'How do you expect them to treat you in a mature way with that thing in your mouth?'

"How many times do I have to tell you to quit going through your little brother!"

"If you have one child you are a parent but if you have two, you are a referee!"

"Meet your new baby brother! We decided to upgrade."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'Take it from someone with experience. . . you can't go throwing tantrums until you've at least tossed a few.'

'Mom! - Jeffrey just said a DADDY word!!'

'Stop crying or Mom will think we're not having fun!'

"I'm wearing new cologne. I hope Smiley is able to control herself around me today."

"Mom always liked you best."

"I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed all my brothers and sisters."