Sibling Rivalry Investigator Pillows

'Steven, think back to when you were 9 and tell me how you felt when your big brother intentionally stepped on your face to get to the upper bunk.'

Polygamists' Picnic

'I am so proud: My kids are finally fighting all the time!'

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

The noise from the basement was probably nothing – but if it was, she was a sacrifice her older brothers were willing to make.

"Act your birth order!"

'My brother got all the glory. For me it was Randolph with your nose so pink, you really make my sleigh team stink.'

'Mum, she pulled my mane!'

"Gracie, I'm getting way tired of your Jane Goodall routine!"

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'Sorry, cash only -- we don't accept little brothers.'

"You can't live in our basement. Your brother beat you to it."

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'

'I suppose this puts my new bike on the back burner?'

'Does this mean I have to share my pocket money?'

Technically, no, dear, your brother isn't plagiarizing you. ABC. ABC.

"Meet your new baby brother! We decided to upgrade."

You'll grow into your sister's hand-me-downs soon enough, dear.

'How do you expect them to treat you in a mature way with that thing in your mouth?'

"If you have one child you are a parent but if you have two, you are a referee!"

"How many times do I have to tell you to quit going through your little brother!"

'Take it from someone with experience. . . you can't go throwing tantrums until you've at least tossed a few.'

'Mom! - Jeffrey just said a DADDY word!!'

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'Stop crying or Mom will think we're not having fun!'

'MOM! -- Samantha called me names in her diary!'

"I'm wearing new cologne. I hope Smiley is able to control herself around me today."

Mom! Billy's censoring me!

"An area where a specific species lives. . . like my older sister in the bathroom."