Shy Talker Gifts

A shy parish cleric seeking to talk business with a lady

Sign on desk reads: 'Thanks for not wishing me a nice day.'

Bryan Ferry

'Welcome to the first meeting of the Shy Men Club.'

'May I have the key to your heart?'

Honestly, I don't know why I even bring Harold to parties.

I'll admit I haven't been waiting all my life to meet you, but I have waited through a rough pencil sketch, the inking process and Photoshop lettering. Surely that's worth something! !?!

'Correct me if I'm wrong.' (Everyone holds their hand up).

"So, do you walk the talk? Replete the tweet? Sext the text?"

'Thanks for the order, Mr Barnes and I want you to think of me as your friend.'

"So you're saying if I wasn't so smart, I'd have more friends?"

Never being able to think of the right thing to say at the right time phobia.

"Autumn already? O.K., I'll come down."

"It's discretionary income but I occasionally use it for indiscretions."

The Language of Love

"Just this once, can we not talk about news or politics or money or family or relationships or children or friends or sex or religion or sports or culture or real estate or the past or the future?"

'Your, 'Never can come out in public' session is over. After I leave the room, you come out and slink away!'

You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that? Many times. How would you like to be the "after" image in my new ad touting the health benefits of our new nonfat kale macchiato. Let me guess: You'd also like an old picture of me where I was weak and puny, so you can claim that's the "before" picture. Don't worry, I've got that part covered. Something about you looked different today, Rudy. Would you like fries with that observation?

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

'I'm getting ready for mating season.'

'For the last time: no, you could not interest me in a cold fusion experiment!'

'I don't eat organic foods. At my age I can use all the preservatives I can get.'

"You can try all you want, but being smooth is just something you're born with."

"Let's hope his sale pitches are better than his passes."

"I prefer to think of it as travel size."

"Sure you remember me. I'm the guy who collapsed here last night... right in front of your... and had to be rushed to the hospital."

"It's just if the TV isn't on I never know where to look."

Detox meets Botox.

'He's not really shy - just a bad skater.'

"You just watch him Ethel. He'll sit there and say nothing, just to annoy me."

'Don't mind Ken, he's a bit shy around new people.'

Schmoozing 101

"How much do you want to take out? How much do you weigh?"

"Oh, no! People are coming to sit near us! Put up the banner!"

"Quit asking if I'm O.K. If I'm ever O.K., I'll let you know."