Short-term Savant Mugs

'We need to decide where to put what's left of your money. I suggest something short-term - like your memory.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

Bullseye!

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

Decision Making Block

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

'Money is a bit tight at the moment, so instead of cash we wondered whether you'd settle for 20% more meaningless protestations of how much we value you?'

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

'Get me some shares in public opinion.'

'In the belief that no news is good news, today's financial report has been cancelled.'

'I say we try it.'

'Tech stocks performed better today after the market was defragged.'

"Subtracting net cash brings the P/E down to 47, and, finally, crossing out the 4 brings it down to a very reasonable P/E of 7."

"Today stocks rose on the news that 'down' is a temporary state of mind."

"That 'give it away free' strategy certainly worked well."

'My new investment counselor keeps referring to my stock portfolio as 'a financial aneurism waiting to happen'.'

Setting up companies

"Today big pharma stocks rose on news 'down' is a state of mind that can be treated by pharmaceuticals."

"Just got back from the client meeting and great news. . . your work isn't dead. It's beaten senseless and run over by a dump truck...but still very much alive."

"The Oaths of the Venture Capitalists."

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

Piggy Bank ATM

'My client would like to enter a plea of inanity.'

"The stocks rally wavered on news Janet Yellen sounded greenspanish."

'As a rationalization specialist I actually have a concept to cut our deficit quickly and effectively - Just do a head stand'!

'Let's make it cutting edge...with a traditional feel.'

'Can Mr. Sloan call you back? He's taking time to stop and smell the profits.'

Game Addiction

'US stocks dropped on news of more people buying cheap goods from China...'

Two steps backwards-one step forward.

'Narrow my options down to the good, the bad, and the ugly.'