Shopper Strategist Pillows

'This trolley of yours does £75 per mile.'

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"Everything's gone up."

Only One Item or Fewer.

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'I've got it written down...'

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

Supermarket Merge

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

'Retirement Training Program'"Very good, Larry! Just one more step and you'll have the entire aisle blocked!"

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

Artificial Isle

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

Fashion Mistake.

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

'But what do you sell?'