Sheet Music Decoder Pillows

Punk Rock

"Using worst case scenario as a baseline, I consider this data quite encouraging."

NHS/Private Eye Care.

"Imagine There's No Heaven. It's Easy If You Try..."

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

"I don't want to play for the audience. I want to play for the fans."

A saxophone player reads music that says, 'Dade, dade, dade, dade, dade, deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' with the eeeeeeees falling off the music stand onto the floor.

Concerto in DOS for Microsoft Windows.

Piano Prompt

"I'm going to need even less tuba."

Required Reeding.

Sleeping musician

Ode to Rip Van Winkle.

Wallpaper Music

...After the argument escalated, neighbors say the husband, a composer, threatened to smother his wife with his sheet music. Before anyone could help, witnesses say he'd already begun killing her softly with his song.

Office of Lyrics You Can't Understand

Precussionist

Today, this humble feature attempts to answer one of the great quandaries of modern times. Is it Louie Louie, oh baby, my hair gotta grow? Wrong! What are the lyrics to the Kingsman's Louie Louie?* *Must be gleaned by listening. No peeking on the internet!

"I have no idea what they do, but whatever it is, they're doing less of it."

'Guys, could we try a different inversion?...Guys?'

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

"It says to sign, and then print my name... can I use the school printer?"

Sheet Music

Musical washing

'That should discourage my imitators.'

"...not ANOTHER unfinished symphony!"

'No, no, no...that's far too legible. Shakier. Much shakier!'

'We're all pretty much in agreement that this is what your doctor scribbled as your prescription.'

"Do you really need all those notes when you only play one at a time?"

'It's not that I don't like you, you're just too upbeat for me.'

'Only training I ever had was when YOU taught me music at school!'

'My client is a genius composer. He writes all the spaces between the notes.'

'They'll get better in time, but right now I call them the 'Okay Chorale'.'

'It's a good tax document conceptually, but your jargon's weak.'