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'They should have warned us that lesson was going to be a certificate 18.'

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

'If we respect each other, contraception makes sense!'

Sex Education

The sperm and the egg: romance in action

"We're going to start with the birds and the bees and then work our way up to the new reproductive technologies."

'Today in school, we learned how to count to one.'

'What's oriole sex'

'Nots so hot on my SATS, but I aced my STDS.'

"I don't really know much about safe sex. I skipped the fourth grade."

"This 'birds and bees' stuff,' Dad - Has it been fact-checked?"

"Oh yes, the stags fight and prance around to impress us, but in the end, we decide who we mate with: we have the power!"

"You are here."

"Dad, where did I come from? The stork?"

'Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize 1 egg?'

"It was time you learned."

The future Mario Andretti about to be conceived

"Buddy, no! Remember what they taught us in sex ed!" "Don't care."

'I'm just waiting to see when I will be preoccupied with sex.'

"Well then, can I at least call you sometime?"

'You don't want your son to learn Latin? Don't worry, he's already decided that for himself!'

"The vampire can come... I'm prepared!"

"I know all about the birds and bees, but what's all this about 'erectile dysfunction?'"

The Joy of Sioux

'I have a question...am I a bird or a bee?'

'I believe the word you want is condom, not condemn ... unless you plan on having very unsafe sex.'

"All I know is this sounds like the kind of thing that could get a political appointee in trouble."

'What sexual position produces the ugliest kids?. . . Ask your mum.'

AIDS prevention

Sex Education: "Here's one we prepared earlier..."

How teachers decide what school supplies kids need to buy.

Department of Gender Studies

'It's probably a hormonal thing.'