Settler Storytelling Admirer Mugs

Mr. Tapley is recognised by some fellow-citizens of Eden

"Feel free to take notes."

'Where was the TSA?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

Jacques et Jille

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

"Tell us again about the humpback of Notre dame."

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

"We started losing money right around the time we decided to just lazily remake old movies with the race or gender of the main character switched from the original." "We're burning through cash and we urgently need to course correct and try something different." "So we're going to make fresh stories with new and interesting characters?" "What?" "No."

"I was kicked out from another kid's bed. Do you mind if I crash under yours for awhile?"

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

"Come in, minion."

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

The three Musketeers give a PowerPoint.

"So it was a performance enhancing drug."

Ernie is a documentary filmmaker who tells stories of folks in their professional lives -- I think he should wonk on his film titles more. One film looked at the surprisingly competitive cutthroat world of the dry cleaning business. "The Hanger Games." In another, we see astronomers traveling to remote locations to escape light pollution. "The Dark Night." Ernie showed us the bond among young butchers in an increasingly vegan world. "Stand by Meat"! And he told us the story of a man who i

'And there is where you put the batteries.'

"... and your great great grand father lost the race but the it was discovered the tortoise was on stéroids."

"I preferred the graphic novel of the origin story of the original prequel."

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

'And when I was fifteen, I ran away from the circus to join an accounting firm.'

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

"So, did Little Red Riding Hood have really bad eyesight or something?"

'How would you like a fairy tale wedding before I eat you?'

Reality TV

Jekyll and Heidi.

Thomas Mayne Reid