Settler Storytelling Admirer Mugs

Mr. Tapley is recognised by some fellow-citizens of Eden

"Feel free to take notes."

'Where was the TSA?'

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

Eurydice is bitten by a snake

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

Jacques et Jille

"It's true, mommy...the chocolate bunny attacked me - it was self-defense!"

"Tell us again about the humpback of Notre dame."

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"We started losing money right around the time we decided to just lazily remake old movies with the race or gender of the main character switched from the original." "We're burning through cash and we urgently need to course correct and try something different." "So we're going to make fresh stories with new and interesting characters?" "What?" "No."

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

"Come in, minion."

"I was kicked out from another kid's bed. Do you mind if I crash under yours for awhile?"

"What do you suppose Ken Burns will have to say about all this in 30 years?"

"... and your great great grand father lost the race but the it was discovered the tortoise was on stéroids."

'And there is where you put the batteries.'

"I preferred the graphic novel of the origin story of the original prequel."

"So it was a performance enhancing drug."

"And in the beginning Mary begat a little lamb"

'And when I was fifteen, I ran away from the circus to join an accounting firm.'

Jekyll and Heidi.

The Mouse King

Reality TV

"What is it with Garrison Keillor and rhubarb pie?"

"So, did Little Red Riding Hood have really bad eyesight or something?"

'How would you like a fairy tale wedding before I eat you?'