Service Sage T-Shirts

"Don't worry Sir, you're not the first person to ask for a refund and you probably won't be the last!"

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

Career Choices

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

Between Offices

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

'This software package can cut your workload in half. Do you want to purchase two copies?'

Music producers.

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

"Sinclair's not all he's cracked up to be. His reputation exceeds him."

"Dad! The bathroom pipes are clogged up!"

IMHOtep

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

"Your test results are back. We're going to have to remove your appendix and your wallet."

'I've noticed that no matter how busy you are, you are never too busy to stop an talk about how busy you are.'

"Raise your hand if you're the only one that's not getting let go."

'Sorry, darling, the firm's corporate lawyers say I can't discuss my day.'

"I make money, therefore I am."

'Do you think you can turn the company around without making us all dizzy?'

Bill Johnson 1914-2000: Server Timed Out.

"Successful leadership involves more than just shouting at people."

"This internet survey is asking me to take another survey rating the survey I'm taking."

'I can feel it, Henderson - Someone out there is up to no good.'

Gawk

The chip - Loyal worker, tireless teacher, friend

'It's all right, Dad -- it's a Buddhist chat room!'

"Remember when we used to waste our entire lives for free?"

"Why would YOU want to know the meaning of life?"

'Found it ... Good heavens! It's the size of a soccer ball!..'

"Well the good news is that the new software analysed hundreds of thousands of potential customers to identify any that would have a genuine interest in the product. . ."

"Of course being celibate, all my advice is second-hand via the internet..."