Service Industry Advocate T-Shirts

"Company policy is the customer is always right..."

'My name is Melanie, and I drew the short straw, so I'll be your waitress tonight.'

'The only thing I can honestly recommend is a generous tip.'

"This is our soft opening."

"I'm just the bus boy but I'll be ignoring you also."

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'Your fingers are in the soup?' - 'Of course they are. It's freezing in that kitchen.'

'The customer is always right...'

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

"He's my cousin. It's just until he can find a new restaurant to work in."

"An actor ... huh, that’s funny, because you look just like a waiter."

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

"You're right, Pierre, they are licking their plates."

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

'A tiny kitchen, one cook, and great food...I don't know how they do it.'

"Would you like to see a dessert menu or do you not need a little treat after each meal?"

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"This robot barista is so authentic it even got my name wrong."

The King of Salesmen says 'Why sir, I believe you need a new tie.'

Lunch-Hour Highlights

"We ran out of the little umbrellas."

"Hello, my name is Eddie and I will be your customer tonight."

'Is that freshly brewed?'

"Isn't it enough we tip well? Must we also like him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter?"

I'm only a part-time waiter, I'm really an actor.

'We are not responsible for any coats that might fit a member of staff.'

How to become the perfect waiter. Lesson 83.

Outsaucing - A dollop of sauce has been put on a customer's plate from a long arm from afar.

'We're well known for serving only the freshest mineral water, Madame.'

Top four least favorite summer camps of 2008.

We Offer Fast, Friendly Or Quality Service! "So, which one do you want?"

"Allow Me"

'Our compliments to the dishwasher.'

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."