Service Excellence Enthusiast T-Shirts

"There's not much Gordon won't do for his clients!"

Excellent Customer Care...Job Satisfaction...

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

"Maybe now, we could look at customer care'?"

"It was wonderful, Henri. Arnold had died and gone to heaven."

"Valet park only"

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

'The Human Right Act bans ANY cruel or unusual treatment...we may need to rewrite our ENTIRE customer care policy!'

'The customer is always right...'

'Alternatively you can just focus on the CUSTOMER!'

"Seat yourself. Grab a menu. Take any table. Hey, you know how to cook?"

"I suppose that's what happens when 'putting customers first' comes second!"

"Your confirmation number is 7913842461. To hear this information again press 1."

"Be careful, this plate is… never mind."

The Waiter

"Could you spare a few minutes to give some feedback on your death experience?"

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

'No Mam. The service charge does not include a change of oil.'

'Hi, my name's Mandy and I'll be your culturally inappropriate annoyance this evening.'

"This conversation may be recorded for training purposes, depending on how well we confuse you."

"Maybe you're not underemployed - maybe you're just overeducated."

'I apologize for repeatedly asking if everything is okay, but displaying customer concern is part of our mission statement.'

"I'd recommend this."

"Will that be for here or to go?"

"I know it's hard to shift gears coming here from your day job as an editor, but the customers don’t like their drinks watered down."

"How is it you can commit to world class service but not to me?"

"Thanks for waiting."

'Could you show me something that's more feature laden?'

Crazy Ideas

Sharings,,,formerly complaints,

The competition's customer vs our customer.

"Right, shall we delay the discussion on customer care again and look at the urgent issue of declining sales and plummeting profits."

"Don't you DARE argue with me you ***(****) or I'll **** your ****."

"It won't be long - we're in the process of hiring a cook now."

"Hang on hon. A table with a more expensive tab needs me."