Sermon Sleuth Prints

Bored-again Christians.

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

Squeezing the Free Press.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

"He's the chief watchdog, who watches over all the other watchdogs—but this must be his night off."

$1: Family Secrets

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

'There's too much corruption in the third world.'

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

'Sometimes I wish we'd never told him he was adopted.'

"He was furiously reading the Bible before he died." "Looking for loopholes."

"So finally, the liarbird flew off to the lucrative world of tell-all books, management consultancy and after-dinner speaking..."

JET (Part I)

"I don't feel like going to school. Isn't that a flu-like symptom?"

"Grammar-police, sir, we have some questions about your online posts and the inappropriate use of apostrophes."

"I made a list of all my symptoms. Lost the list. Can't remember any of my symptoms now."

SERMONS 'R' US - everything for the clergy.

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

'Great sermon, Reverend! Too bad my husband couldn't stay awake to hear it.'

The Robert Mueller Rosetta Stone

"Ok, you were right – dogs can see ghosts."

"I sympathize with how important it is to you, John... but I simply can't bless your lure!"

'How come the rabbit didn't have good luck with the foot?'

Spy Satellite

Credulity, Superstition and Fanaticism.

'From Wall Street, here's a run down of today's stock prices and S.E.C allegations.'

'STREWTH! Our firewall is down!' (Rupert and James Murdoch cease to be shielded after Rebekah Brooks resigns)

Panama Papers Scandal

"Please excuse our appearance while our records are being impounded."